Because I Love You

Such a simple phrase can take on a different meaning in an unhealthy relationship; escalating from a statement of care to one of control. Learn more about controlling statements and how you can empower your friends to make a difference.


Double Whiskey

The Problem

In a violent or abusive relationship, control statements like “Because I Love You” are often used in a pattern of put-downs or mind games that are meant to gain power over you, leave you feeling fearful or like everything's your fault.1 

Take Action

Here are three ideas you can do in your community to educate and empower others about the impacts of control statements.

Share on Social. Create your own #thatsnotlove statements that start with “Because I Love You” and share them with your friends via social to educate. Here's a few to get you started:

  • Because I love you, blow off plans with your friends tonight. You should want to hang out with only me. #thatsnotlove.
  • Because I love you, you should let me read all of your texts,… whenever I want. #thatsnotlove
  • Because I love you, I don't want you talking to that person. #thatsnotlove

Post Flyers. Using this template as a guide, post "Because I Love You" statements across campus to spread the word. Get creative with where you post! Think: the dining hall, bathroom stalls, in library books, etc.

Host an Event. Host your very own performance art event that uses "Because I Love You" or #thatsnotlove as a theme. It can be slam poetry, spoken word, moth-style, improv - whatever you think will leave the crowd feeling positive and empowered. Check out these quick tips on creating an amazing event. 

Tell Us What You Did 

Snap photos and share them on social using the hashtag #thatsnotlove or email April at