Katie Hood, of Bronxville, New York, is the CEO of The One Love Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to preventive education to help people avoid abusive relationships. For more on One Love’s work to change the stats around domestic violence, visit JoinOneLove.org.
Recently a star player on Syracuse’s men’s lacrosse team was allowed back on the team and able to practice a week after he’d been suspended after allegations of domestic violence. The fact that he was reinstated after the allegations and even hearing the horrific details of incident itself was hardly shocking — sadly as a society we see these incidents happen time and time again. What really stopped me in my tracks? It was the five team captains’ reaction — who all refused to take the field with the accused.
Their refusal to practice and threats to not play alongside someone accused of assault were acts of courage we rarely see when it comes to speaking up about domestic violence. Today in the U.S., more than 1 in 3 women, nearly 1 in 3 men, and more than 1 in 2 trans nonbinary people will be the victim of intimate partner violence. We know that the stories of these victims are rarely told, and their accounts are even more rarely believed, let alone publicly rebuked.
In every way it would be easier for these young players to remain silent — to look the other way and just keep playing. They might feel it’s not their place to say anything, or go up against their coaches. But in a world where it’s so often up to the victims of domestic violence to be on the ones to take public action and relive their own trauma — this team chose the more difficult path of allyship for this victim. They had an open and honest conversation with each other and decided to take action.
As shown by the statistics, we are all affected by domestic violence. Whether personally, or knowing a friend, family member, or loved one who has suffered. But so many of us remain silent. We excuse behavior when alcohol or drugs are involved. We refuse to believe a friend who treats us personally well could be capable of violence. We think if someone is a charismatic celebrity, a trusted leader or a star athlete we can look the other way because their talent outweighs their unhealthy behavior.
Taking action is also hard when we don’t have the resources, education or language we need to even identify abusive behavior and call it out before it becomes violent. Gen Z could change this. As a whole, they are more involved and engaged in social issues than previous generations. About 70% of Gen Zers believe that the government should be more active in addressing problems, reports the Pew Research Center. This is the same spirit that encourages them to stand up for what’s right, like the Syracuse team did.
What I’ve seen leading an education nonprofit that works with Gen Z students, and has helped educate many student athletes, is with this generation there’s a willingness to learn and a hunger for action. The time to address this is now. Gen Z is at the age when girls and young women experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence (16-24 years old) — almost triple the national average. Additionally, one in six people in this generation identifies as Queer or Transgender and the CDC’s 2015 Youth Behavioral Risk Survey found that 18% of LGBTQ+ youth reported having experienced physical violence in the 12 months.
I truly believe they will be the ones to lead us to a meaningful shift when it comes to domestic violence in this country. That belief was strengthened when I heard the story coming out of Syracuse and it’s my hope that these players will not only serve as an inspiration to their peers, but an example for all of us of any generation to do the hard thing and step in when we see others ignore abuse.
Related: Ending domestic violence begins with men standing up against it (Editorial Board Opinion)