4 Students Share How They Helped a Friend in an Unhealthy Relationship

Watching a friend struggle in an unhealthy or abusive relationship is tough, and it’s hard to know when or how to help. You don’t have to be a superhero—sometimes, just being there is enough. Four students share their personal experiences supporting friends through difficult relationships, offering insights and practical tips. 

For a step-by-step guide on how to help a friend in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, visit our resource here or download the guide here. 

When to Help (And When Not To) 

According to one high school senior, jumping in right away might feel awkward or even make things worse. As another high school senior said, “99% of friends won’t say anything in the moment.” Instead, try pulling your friend aside later or sending a simple text: “Hey, are you okay?” 

Listen First, Don’t Push 

Your friend might get defensive if you come on too strong or speak negatively about their partner. One teen shared, “People get defensive if you come out against their partner.” It’s better to wait until they’re ready to talk and just listen. This shows you’re there when they need you. 

A Simple Check-In Goes a Long Way 

A college student said, “If I see a friend struggling, I ask, ‘Hey, are you okay?’” It’s simple, but can open the door for a deeper conversation. Even if they don’t want to talk, just knowing you’re there matters.” 

It’s Okay to Feel Unsure 

“Helping isn’t always easy, and it’s normal to feel confused or frustrated. But just showing that you care, even if you don’t have all the answers, can make a big difference.” 

Final Thoughts 

A college student shared, “If I see a friend struggling, I ask, ‘Hey, are you okay?’” It’s a simple question, but it can open the door to a deeper conversation. Even if they don’t want to talk, just knowing you’re there matters. It’s important to remember that it can take time—on average, someone may attempt to leave an abusive relationship seven times before they succeed—and it’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize self-care while supporting them. 

— Carla M Kozen, Content Manager