Do you feel that you completely lose yourself when you are in a relationship? The person you are with becomes the center of your universe? You skip out on extracurricular activities and break plans with friends because your entire day is scheduled around them? You rarely speak up and never voice your own needs and concerns in the relationship?
Losing yourself in a relationship can creep up on you without you noticing – especially in the beginning phases. The intensity of your relationship is at an all-time high and you always want to see your partner! This excitement can lead you to want to make this person happy at all costs, even at the cost of your independence. Sometimes your own intensity towards your relationship makes it difficult for you to recognize that your feelings and opinions have dissolved into the background, because what matters most to you is what your partner wants.
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If this describes how you feel in your relationship, we want to make sure you have the tools necessary to help you find your way back to YOU!
Here is a list of 6 activities that can help you reconnect with yourself:
1. Create a list of the top five things that made you happy prior to being in a relationship! Look through and reflect on why these things made you happy. From there, start by adding one of these five things back into your life. Changes don’t need to happen all at once.
2. Make sure to spend some time with your family and friends. In a healthy relationship, both partners spend time with people outside the relationship. Try to schedule some time to see your loved ones outside of the relationship, as well!
3. Check-in with yourself by taking 10 to 15 minutes daily to journal and self-reflect. One reflection question you could start with is, “What are my strengths in my relationship?” This question will remind you of all that you are bring to your relationship and how you deserve a partnership that is based on equality.
4. Take note of the number of times you did not express yourself in your relationship and try to understand the reason for this. When you are more aware of these instances, you are more likely to speak up the next time you do have something to say.
5. Are there activities you would like to do with your partner, but haven’t suggested? Create a list of these activities and try to incorporate more of what you want to do when you spend time with your partner.
6. Spend time working on your goals and your happiness! Continuing to pursue your life goals is important because it gives you things to fulfill you that sit outside of your relationship.
It takes courage to admit that you lose yourself when you’e in a relationship, but remember it is never too late to start doing the things and hanging out with the people that were important to you before you started dating. In a healthy relationship, your partner has your best interest at heart and wants to make room for the people and activities that make you happy – so don’t lose sight of them. After all, if you are not taking care of yourself, then who will?
By Manisha Sareen
Manisha Sareen is One Love’s Operations/Advancement Manager