Written by Writer’s Corps member Gussie Bryan
When you’re considering a committed relationship with someone special, take time to figure out exactly what you’re getting into. After all, your love is a gift. Don’t you want that gift going to someone who truly deserves it?
These green flags will help you decide if you’ve found someone worthy of your love:
1. You Can Be Yourself
You don’t feel like you’re performing or acting in a way that is not authentic to your true self. You also feel like you can be honest and speak your mind without fear of judgment or ridicule. It’s important to start from a genuine understanding of one another; otherwise, you’ll be building your relationship upon lies and that never ends well.
2. You Find Yourself Laughing And Smiling A Lot
You enjoy being around them. It’s really that simple. In the early stages of a relationship, feeling good in one another’s presence is a green flag. Do you feel joyful? Are you smiling more than you usually do? Are your friends noticing a positive change in your mood?
3. You Feel Respected
Boundaries are important in any new relationship. You are still getting to know each other, and you need to take stock of all the green flags before passing go. Feeling respected in this process is crucial. By that I mean they’re not rushing you into anything you’re not ready for, physically or emotionally. There is no pressure.
You also feel like what you’re communicating is being heard. They are taking time to listen and understand your point of view, even if they don’t agree.
4. You Want Similar Things in Life
It’s a big green flag if you share common values with your SO like kindness, trust, honesty, ambition, whatever is important to you should be important to them as well. In the early stages, pay attention to see if you align.
Even as you’re getting to know each other, you should also talk about what you both want long-term. One of the top reasons young couples get divorced is because they didn’t have a shared vision of success. It’s a conversation you can have very early on. What does success mean to you? Do they agree?
5. You Feel Challenged…in a Good Way
This is about empowerment and teamwork. They believe in you and your dreams and want to help you reach them. They too have a passion or a big dream, and you find yourself challenged by that as well. They want to help you to be a better person, encouraging you to follow your dreams, while also being open to your encouragement to becoming a better person themselves.
6. You Want to Make Sacrifices, But Not Too Many
Commitment involves sacrifice. It’s just a fact. You have to be willing to give up certain things when you commit to someone, which should always be a priority before you really start to fall for them. But you don’t have to give up everything, and you shouldn’t expect them to either. Independence is crucial in any relationship. It’s all about balance and a willingness to compromise.
It’s scary to initiate a conversation to talk about stuff like this, I get it. You don’t want to look like you have an agenda or that you’re trying to push things forward too quickly. But trust me, it’s worth it. Communicating your wants and needs early on is always worth it. Knowing what questions to ask a potential SO will empower you and ultimately help you find the right relationship.
Pay attention to all the flags – red and green. They’re there for a reason.