Advice

How to Know When It’s Time to Break Up

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One Love Heart Blue Written by Writer’s Corps member Ashlyn Jones 

In the beginning, your relationship was so great. You enjoyed spending time together on the weekends and sending snaps between classes. Now, things have changed… You may be asking yourself if it’s over? Or agonizing over whether or not you should take a break. While it’s scary to think about the end of your relationship, it’s important to know when you’re forcing things to work. Staying with someone you’re no longer happy with does more harm than good in the end, especially when unhealthy behaviors are present. 

While all relationships have their ups and downs, there are times when calling it quits is for the best. Here are some signs that show that it’s time to break up with your significant other. 

1. You would rather not hang with your significant other 

How to Know When It’s Time to Break Up

It’s healthy to have a social life outside of your relationship. But when you start feeling like you’d rather do anything but hang out with your partner, it’s time to decide if you are still interested in staying with this person. Your instinct to avoid your partner could be due to an unhealthy situation, and If so, it is most likely time to call it quits on the relationship.

RELATED: Unsure of whether or not you should call it quits? Learn more about the 10 signs of an unhealthy relationship.

2. Bae is hot and cold

When your partner is being warm and loving one second and ignoring you the next it feels like being left out in the cold. This type of “push-pull” relationship dynamic can make you feel insecure, confused or frustrated. It’s a form of exerting emotional and physical control over a partner that can make the other person feel powerless or crazy. Being in a relationship with someone should make you feel secure and loved. If you don’t, it’s time to pull the plug.  

3. Someone cheats (not just in bed)

Cheating is usually defined as a sexual act. But there are many other types of cheating that can be damaging to a relationship.Match.com explains what emotional, cyber or text cheating is and why any of these types of continuous cheating is unacceptable. If you experience or practice any of these betrayals it’s a definite reason to break up with your S.O.

RELATED: 4 Ways to Repair your Relationship After Cheating (According to Experts)  

4. They make you feel stupid

How to Know When It’s Time to Break Up

A partner that is making fun of you in a nasty way or criticizing you in public is diminishing your self-worth. This can cause depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress (PTSD) and even suicidal thoughts. If your partner is belittling you in any way, you have to let them know. If it still continues to happen it’s time to end the relationship.

RELATED: Unhealthy Relationship Behaviors Series: Belittling 

5. You are afraid to bring up certain things

You should always feel like you can talk about anything with your partner. If your partner shows verbal aggression that makes you feel intimidated or humiliated when you initiate difficult conversations, it’s a possible sign of emotional abuse. You need to know that needs to be addressed either with a caretaker, trusting adult, or friend.

RELATED: 11 Common Patterns of Verbal Abuse

6. They make you do things you don’t want to do

It’s never ok for your partner to pressure you to do things you don’t want to do. This can start off as a fairly innocent request, like asking you to skip an event with friends. However, these kinds of demands often escalate into asking you to skip class or stop talking to certain friends or family. Other common forms of pressure are asking for explicit photos or wanting to get more intimate than you’d like. If you experience anything like this in your relationship you need to speak up about it right away with someone you trust.

7. Your partner Is manipulative

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Manipulation allows one person to get the upper hand in a relationship. Manipulative partners play many mind games and can be tough to spot. Some signs of manipulation are making you feel guilty, trying to convince you that they know what is best for you, wanting to know your whereabouts at all times or sensitive information like your social media passwords or code to your phone. If you feel like your S.O. is manipulating you, it’s best to talk to a trusted adult or friend.  

RELATED: 5 Signs You’re Being Manipulated in Your Friendship

There really is no formula or science for the perfect relationship, we can at least learn to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy If you recognize yourself in any of these signs, the reality might be that your relationship needs to end for the sanity of both people involved.  

  If you or someone you know is experiencing an unhealthy or abusive relationship, check out our real-time resources, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If you’re in imminent danger, please call 911.

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